What I Want Out Of Life and L-L-Lo Relationships

I realize that most of the problems I have faced as an adult were a direct result of irresponsibility or disobedience. But those days are over. I am so ready to live a happy and blessed life. However, I need to know exactly what I want from life so that I don’t accidentally accept something that I don’t want by default.

I have taken a break from dating to become the best me I can be. I am getting to know myself better and loving myself and chasing my dreams and goals. I thought at one time that my goals would be easier to reach with a partner but if they have different goals or no goals then you are just pulling in different directions and never moving up. The 12 step program that people use to stay away from drugs, I use to stay away from thugs.

I have said multiple times that I won't remarry but I’m starting to warm up to the idea that God has an awesome person for me in His will. I now know what I deserve. I know there is someone out there who loves the Lord, works hard and looks good. I’m going to start looking around for him in 2025 after I have gotten settled in to my dream home and am operating a business that I love. It would have been nice to build it with someone but I feel I may have missed that opportunity. I think at 47 years old, I should have my life together by now.

I have been conditioned by previous relationships not to depend on a man for anything. I want to already have everything else I need when he comes along. I want to be completely whole without him. I don’t want to depend on him for anything but being a good and loving husband.

One thing that worries me about relationships these days is locks on phones and secret messages and pics hidden in a fake calculator app. I don’t mean to sound like Mama Boucher but the technology available today is the devil. It provides many opportunities for deceit. There should be nothing to hide from your significant other. We shouldn’t even be made to feel the need to go through each others phone. Every person is going to have conversations going on with different people about different subjects, none of which should be a secret. Tracking devices can be very helpful in some situations but it’s ridiculous if you can’t go to the consignment store down the street on your lunch break without being accused of infidelity. When in reality, the accusations are due to the guilt of the other party. But I digress. Evil will creep in anyplace that it finds. Don’t leave a window open for it. I say put your honey before social media. Give them your attention.

The family that prays together, stays together. If you can’t join hands and ask God for help with your problems and instead try to solve it by screaming and fighting, you aren’t doing it right. If God has been removed from the relationship or you go after a union that He didn’t bless, it will be a constant struggle.

I don’t know if I even know what real love is. I have read about the beauty and ecstasy and sweetness of a real Christian marriage. God gives this kind of love to believers who are filled with the Holy Spirit. I won’t accept anything second rate. I am waiting for the very best that God has to offer me.


  • I’m glad you made the decision to post this. It’s good. Love you !

    Laverne Childers
  • I love reading your blogs, and this one hit right on time with me… love ya

    Crystal D. Cotham
  • My absolute favorite so far ❤️


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